Something Worth Fighting For

Something Worth Fighting For

By Dr. David Harrison, KIDPOWER Vancouver Center Director

This is a Publication of KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International.
Copyright 2005 All rights reserved. www.kidpower.org

The decision to fight back if attacked is a highly personal one, and one that deserves your attention before the situation arises. Canadian martial artist and self defense expert Tony Blauer describes how many people, especially if they have never considered what they would do if attacked, go through a typical pattern or reactions.

Denial
The first reaction, once you figure out that you have been attacked, is to go into denial. “This can’t be happening!” Many people never get past this point, which makes successful self defense difficult.

Reality
The next stage is a realization that “This is happening!” Getting this far, but no farther in your response also makes successful defense unlikely.

Resolve
People who are successful in defending themselves progress to the third stage “This is not going to happen!” I call this the stage of RESOLVE. This is the stage when, for whatever reason, people decide to fight back. Usually this means getting angry. Many people have defended themselves successfully with no training of any kind because of their resolve that "This is not going to happen!"

What are you willing to surrender?

I would encourage you to give some thought to what you are prepared to fight for. Remember that if someone physically attacks you he generally wants one of three things, your possessions, your body, or your life. Decide in advance which of these you are prepared to surrender, and more importantly, which ones you are not.

A personal decision

I have made the decision that I would surrender my possessions but not my body or my life. I made this decision because my possessions can be replaced, but I cannot. I would defend myself for the sake of my family and those whom I love. I would not allow anyone to take them from me, or me from them. I urge you to think about this so that you are clear about what you would fight for.

In getting motivated to fight back it is helpful to consider that studies have shown two things.

1. Women who successfully defended themselves against sexual assault feared rape more than they feared other forms of physical injury.

2. Women were no more likely to suffer physical injury, and less likely to be raped if they did fight back.

There may also be rare circumstances in which, at least for the moment, fighting back is not an option. There could be times when your best option for survival would be to cooperate fully. If you initially cooperate it is important to never give up. An opportunity to fight back and escape may appear. There are success stories of people who got themselves out of trouble by finding an opportunity when things had seemed quite hopeless earlier.

Whether or not to fight back in any given situation is obviously a decision that only you can make. Therefore it is very important for you to decide what it is that you would fight for, and use this to motivate you if you’re ever attacked. You need to discover what will take you to the point of saying “This is not going to happen!” Once you have decided what you would fight for, you need to become…Fluffy the Cat.

This is obviously a very personal issue. I think it is very important for you to decide what it is that you would fight for, and use this to motivate you if you’re ever attacked. You need to discover what will take you to the point of saying “This is not going to happen!” Once you have decided what you would fight for, you need to become…Fluffy the Cat.

Fluffy the cat

I originally heard of Fluffy the Cat while reading a book by Marc “The Animal” MacYoung. I have borrowed the name, and elaborated on the concept of Fluffy to illustrate what it takes to effectively defend yourself against a larger, stronger assailant, which was MacYoung’s original point. I also like to use Fluffy to respond to legitimate concerns people sometimes have about using the type of physical techniques that are often necessary when faced with a serious threat.

Who is Fluffy anyway?

Fluffy the Cat is a warm, cuddly, loving cat. But imagine what would happen if you were holding Fluffy when a large dog approached and started barking and snarling, perhaps trying to bite her. At this point, Fluffy would stop purring and have only one thing in mind. Escape. You would be wise to release Fluffy at this point. If you decided instead to hold on to Fluffy, and prevent her escape, she would no longer be a gentle, affectionate, loving cat. Instead she would use every means at her disposal to get away. She would be, in a word, and for as long as it took to get away, vicious.

This does not mean that Fluffy is by nature a mean, vicious, or violent cat. But it does mean that Fluffy has the resolve to do whatever is necessary to escape. Fortunately, nobody has told Fluffy that by fighting back she might make the dog more angry, and be more seriously injured as a result.

Many children don’t seem to need Fluffy

In KIDPOWER, physical self defense is taught in a context of children having first practiced awareness, leaving and, in a threatening situation, yelling and running to safety. They are then asked to promise that they will only use fighting as a last resort, if they are in danger and cannot leave or get help.

The first fighting technique taught is an eye strike. It is interesting to see that, unlike many adults, children do not seem to have any qualms about learning to poke someone in the eye if they need to. Fortunately, despite their apparent lack of concern, there are no reports of children trained in KIDPOWER using this type of force inappropriately. Children may accept performing eye strikes without question because we do not go into graphic details about the kind of physical damage potentially resulting from the technique.

Adults need Fluffy’s help

In adult classes discussions are sometimes more frank and explicit about the potential for serious injury to an attacker. Some adults express understandable concern about using techniques that could cause serious, permanent injury to an attacker. This is why we have to talk about Fluffy the Cat.

Be nice, until it’s time not to be nice

In KIDPOWER the emphasis is first on awareness and avoidance, then de-escalation and escape. If escape is impossible, then we teach Full Force Self Defense techniques by using a head to toe padded instructor. What we teach is not martial arts, and it is not pretty. Most of all it is definitely not nice. But as Patrick Swayze said in Roadhouse, “Be nice. Be nice until it’s time not to be nice”. At KIDPOWER Vancouver, we teach you how not to be nice. We teach you to Be Fluffy.

Violence should be avoided whenever possible!
Now, I would like to emphasize one very important point. I abhor violence. Although I have not been in a real fight since I was in grade 5 (I lost), I am intimately familiar with the results of violence. As an emergency and trauma physician I have for many years cared for patients who were punched, stabbed, slashed, shot, strangled, and bludgeoned, sometimes to death. And I have also cared for those who have done the bludgeoning. I have told families that their children have been killed, and have on occasion wept with them in their grief.

Don’t mess with Fluffy

So I understand violence and have come to hate it. But if I am attacked, and cannot escape, and only one person is going home to their family at the end of the night, it is going to be Fluffy, and Fluffy is me. Not because I am particularly big, or strong, or a highly experienced fighter, because I am not. It is because I have four things. I have very effective tools and tactics. I have something to fight for, and I have resolve. KIDPOWER Vancouver can provide you with the first two. The latter two are things you need to find for yourself.

But here is the best part. Those who arrive at our workshops, not sure that they possess something to fight for the resolve to do it, often leave having found what they needed to get the job done within themselves.

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A publication of KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International