Home Intrusion

By Dr. David Harrison, KIDPOWER Vancouver Center Director

This is a Publication of KIDPOWER TEENPOWER FULLPOWER International.
Copyright 2005 All rights reserved. www.kidpower.org

Here is a real incident that has a few lessons to offer about home intrusion.

A 13 year old boy was home alone for a few hours when he thought he heard someone in the house. He reacted with some good decisions, and some that were less than ideal. He grabbed a phone (good), and locked himself in the bathroom (not so good), which had no windows or other routes of escape (not good at all). He called his mom (good), who correctly told him to leave the house immediately (also good).

However, after leaving the house he returned to retrieve the family dog (not so good), who is an 80 pound Labrador Retriever, in case the home intruder tried to hurt him. Fortunately there was no intruder in the house (very good). The incident did raise some important points though.

•  The boy had talked with his parents about dealing with home intrusion a few weeks before, but had not rehearsed what to do. Lesson number one. Kids learn best by doing, not talking.

•  Returning for the dog points out how easy it is for intruders to use family loyalty to their advantage.

•  A person wanting to take only your property will likely flee when he discovers that the house is occupied. A person who wants to take something other than property (the other two options being your body or your life) will not be stopped by a locked bathroom door. A locked door may provide a temporary diversion and delay, but always choose a room with access to a phone, and another exit. Even a second storey window. Jumping from a second storey window is usually survivable. Jumping from greater heights is likely to result in more serious, potentially life threatening injury.

•  Extreme danger (home invasion carries the highest incidence of significant personal injury or death at 35%, compared to a 10% mortality rate for robbery and 4% for sexual assault) requires that you take some risks in order to escape. The risk is a given, the timing of the risk is not. Usually, the sooner the risk is taken, the better. It is better to risk being seen by an intruder as you flee to the nearest exit rather than be trapped in the house.

•  If someone is shooting - tables, doors, and even walls often do not stop bullets. Leave the area, even if it means being seen and potentially being in the line of fire for a moment in the process. The chance of being hit while running is remote compared to the chances of being hit by staying where you are. Analysis of civilian shootings indicate that people only hit their intended target about 7% of the time. If you are hit, the chance of dying from the wound is only 10%. These percentages increases dramatically at point blank range. The history of shootings in public places indicates that staying where you are places you at far greater risk than trying to leave the area. Many victims have been methodically executed while they hid behind objects.  There have, of course, been cases of survivors escaping detection by hiding in closets, etc. This may at times be a viable option, but escape should always be the first priority.

For an excellent discussion of strategies on how to deal with home intrusion read Sanford Strong’s book Strong on Defense. Note, this book is not for children.

•  Situations in which a home intruder threatens to harm one family member in order to gain compliance from another are especially difficult. An example would be an intruder who coerces a parent to allow herself to be bound by threatening to harm a child whom he is holding, often with a weapon. To be bound leaves everyone at the mercy of the intruder, and mercy is not likely to be his strong point. Once bound, the parent is incapable of intervening on the part of the child, while giving the intruder complete control of the situation. This is obviously an extremely desperate situation. Other indications that your situation has just gone from bad to worse are commands to turn around, turn around and kneel, or attempts on the part of the intruder to cover your face with a bag or hood. These often represent attempts by the intruder to depersonalize you, to make you less human. They often precede an execution.

What should you do?

So, what is the solution? The first priority in all cases of home intrusion should be for at least one person to escape, seek help, and notify police. However, most parents will not be able to bring themselves to abandon their child in such circumstances. In cases of home intrusion the perpetrator will often try to control the greatest threat in the house first, usually the male parent, sometimes by threatening the children. This may provide an opportunity for the other parent, or another child, to go for help.

If your loved one is being threatened

If your child or loved one is threatened with injury, even with a weapon, in order to force you to cooperate with being neutralized by being bound or locked in a separate room, it can make things much worse if you comply. You are in a very dangerous situation with no good options open to you. Sanford Strong, who has analyzed many such cases in his duties as a police detective, suggests the following. Do not beg. Take a “no retreat” position. Slowly and calmly move to within arms length of the intruder and place your hand on your child while you quietly speak to him. Then in a voice as ferocious and menacing, and with as much profanity and conviction as you can muster, say something like this – and mean it. Start off quietly as you approach and build the intensity once you are close.

“You can have anything you want. I’ll give you my purse, my bank card and PIN number, the car, the jewelry, everything. (Now next to your child) But if you harm my child (husband, wife) I will have nothing left to lose. You might be able to cut/shoot me, but you won’t stop me. I am close enough to get you. If you harm her I will live long enough to take that knife/gun from you and I will kill you. You are ****ing with the wrong person. Now take my money and leave”. If you are dealing with a knife your statement is actually quite true. Even a fatal wound to the heart rarely kills or incapacitates immediately. Guns are somewhat different, which is why we do teach knife and gun disarms in our advanced classes for this type of close in situation when you are convinced that the weapon is about to be used.

Now, this is a high stakes wager. Is it possible that your ”proposition” will prompt the intruder to harm your child? Perhaps. However, you have made a reasonable offer. If he is a person who just wants the first item on the menu of your property, your body, or your life, then he will most likely accept it and leave. If the intruder is the type who would be prompted by your statement to attack, then what do you think he was planning to do to your child, and then to you, if you had cooperated with being bound?

Is it possible that your statement might cause a home intruder, who originally wanted just your property, to become more violent and change his agenda to taking something else? Perhaps, in which case one could argue that your proposition may have made matters worse.  However, in that case you should ask yourself this question. Do you want to bet your life, and the life of your loved one, on the compassion and mercy of a person who is that unstable and prone to extreme violence in the first place? If not, then your best bet is to make him the offer of your possessions and hope he takes it.

I should mention that the section of the Vancouver Police Department website dealing with home intrusion advises to cooperate fully with home intruders and not resist. It recommends that you should instead "be a good witness". I personally do not want to witness what might happen if I am tied up and unable to protect my family in such a situation. I would prefer to take my chances making my reasonable offer. However, this is a very personal decision that each of us will hopefully never have to make. However, it is worthy of some thought, because it would be a difficult choice without previous consideration.